Kyla, Why-Ya Absent
I am absent a lot.
I hate being absent. It's embarrassing, it's hard to catch up, and it makes my life harder.
I hate being absent. It's embarrassing, it's hard to catch up, and it makes my life harder.
I have to be absent.
Whether I'm sick or I have an appointment; I can't go to school that day.
I try my best not to be absent but some days I just have to be absent.
To compensate for my absences I have a 504 plan. If you are a student with chronic illnesses and you don't have one, you need one.
My 504 plan "evens the playing field." It tells my teachers before I meet them, that when I am absent I get accommodations. Instead of one day, I get a couple days to turn in my work. I get a little longer to take tests. I get extra time.
Toward the end of eighth grade, when I was on methotrexate my 504 plan stated that all my teachers needed to set a special desk aside for me. One that was cleaned in between every class.
My teachers took this very seriously.
My English teacher put me in the very front of the class, in my own row, on a desk that was marked STAY OFF!
My History teacher moved me away from my best friend, to the back, where there was one row in between me and this annoying kid who always had many questions like "Why do our desks always smell like Lysol?" and "Why do you sit there if there is a sign that says KEEP CLEAN?"
My Math teacher was very concerned about my health and would constantly recommend me good gluten-free things she had found or the cleaning supplies that don't smell bad. Looking back I realize how very nice of her this was but in eighth grade, I was mortified.
My Band teacher let me choose my own stand and chair and while everyone else had to rush to the band room to try to get a stand that didn't wobble and a chair that didn't squeak, I walked casually. When I got there I grabbed the stand and chair that read DONT TOUCH, but that's beside's the point.
I am so grateful that they understood and provided me the accommodations I needed without giving me a hard time. I was so embarrassed, but I don't think that many kids noticed, and my friends knew.
My teachers took this very seriously.
My English teacher put me in the very front of the class, in my own row, on a desk that was marked STAY OFF!
My History teacher moved me away from my best friend, to the back, where there was one row in between me and this annoying kid who always had many questions like "Why do our desks always smell like Lysol?" and "Why do you sit there if there is a sign that says KEEP CLEAN?"
My Math teacher was very concerned about my health and would constantly recommend me good gluten-free things she had found or the cleaning supplies that don't smell bad. Looking back I realize how very nice of her this was but in eighth grade, I was mortified.
My Band teacher let me choose my own stand and chair and while everyone else had to rush to the band room to try to get a stand that didn't wobble and a chair that didn't squeak, I walked casually. When I got there I grabbed the stand and chair that read DONT TOUCH, but that's beside's the point.
I am so grateful that they understood and provided me the accommodations I needed without giving me a hard time. I was so embarrassed, but I don't think that many kids noticed, and my friends knew.
When I got to high school I thankfully didn't need my desks to be cleaned and separated anymore.
More recently I had one teacher who did not understand a 504 plan. Mrs. M.
One day she decided to publicly make a comment about my repeated absences. She was my first-period teacher so I was absent from her class more often. (Joint Stiffness) After class, I quietly and personally reminded her that I have a 504 plan and that she needed to look it over to understand my accommodations. She then loudly and distractedly told me she wished someone would have told her.
This was frustrating because she was supposed to know.
She also said "You don't look sick" which is the worst thing to tell someone with invisible illnesses.
I left the class shaky and uncomfortable. I later asked my Spanish teacher if she knew about my 504, and she did. She was mad at her colleague and explained to me that all my teachers should know. I was relieved that she knew. The next day during class Mrs. M walked up to my group and told me in front of them that she was able to find the 504. She explained to me that she was only able to see RA and that she did not know what accommodations she could make.
A 504 is supposed to be very private and confidential. She should not have said anything in front of my group.
She then said that growing up, her babysitter had RA and that her babysitter was not supposed to live long yet she was now in her forties so there was hope for me.
This made me really confused because I had never questioned if I would live past forty.
She made me worried and later that day I had to google the life expectancy of a teenager with RA.
Extremely uncomfortable I only answered with "oh" and "okay".
After class, I went up to her privately and told her that my teachers give me more time and that all of the accommodations are stated in my 504 plan. She then said, "I can't do that because then you could cheat." WHAT?!
I was shocked that someone could tell me that and I left so upset.
I already hate being absent and I would never cheat.
This was frustrating because she was supposed to know.
She also said "You don't look sick" which is the worst thing to tell someone with invisible illnesses.
I left the class shaky and uncomfortable. I later asked my Spanish teacher if she knew about my 504, and she did. She was mad at her colleague and explained to me that all my teachers should know. I was relieved that she knew. The next day during class Mrs. M walked up to my group and told me in front of them that she was able to find the 504. She explained to me that she was only able to see RA and that she did not know what accommodations she could make.
A 504 is supposed to be very private and confidential. She should not have said anything in front of my group.
She then said that growing up, her babysitter had RA and that her babysitter was not supposed to live long yet she was now in her forties so there was hope for me.
This made me really confused because I had never questioned if I would live past forty.
She made me worried and later that day I had to google the life expectancy of a teenager with RA.
Extremely uncomfortable I only answered with "oh" and "okay".
After class, I went up to her privately and told her that my teachers give me more time and that all of the accommodations are stated in my 504 plan. She then said, "I can't do that because then you could cheat." WHAT?!
I was shocked that someone could tell me that and I left so upset.
I already hate being absent and I would never cheat.
I left it alone because I could not process the conversation. I couldn't believe it happened.
I did, however, tell my Spanish teacher and ranted to my friends.
After school, every day I have to wait an hour for my sister because she has an extra class.
That day, during that time, I called my mom and told her everything that had happened.
My mom came right away.
I did, however, tell my Spanish teacher and ranted to my friends.
After school, every day I have to wait an hour for my sister because she has an extra class.
That day, during that time, I called my mom and told her everything that had happened.
My mom came right away.
We walked into the office without an appointment which made me very nervous. But the vice principal was expecting us! My Spanish teacher had already told her the events from the day.
I then told her the entire story. She explained that what Mrs. M did was extremely inappropriate and wrong and that Mrs. M should have known better. My vice-principal is in charge of all 504 plans at the school. She was angry because she had, hosted several meetings about 504's over the summer.
She changed my schedule to the other math teacher which is unheard of because many students try to get out of math classes, to be frank, the math teachers aren't very good, so transfers are unheard of.
She then called Mrs. M to talk to her. Mrs. M did not answer so she left a strict voicemail.
Mrs. M called her back two seconds later trying to make excuses an arguing with the vice principal. The vice-principal calmly and firmly told her "That's not how we handle this... Come to my office in 15 minutes."
The vice-principal than apologized to me one more time and promised me she would handle the situation.
I left, shocked not only at the way my awful and irresponsible math teacher acted. But also by the amazing adults in my life who handled the situation perfectly; my mom, the vice-principal, my Spanish teacher. During the meeting, I cried, I was annoyed, I was hurt, and I was shocked.
I then told her the entire story. She explained that what Mrs. M did was extremely inappropriate and wrong and that Mrs. M should have known better. My vice-principal is in charge of all 504 plans at the school. She was angry because she had, hosted several meetings about 504's over the summer.
She changed my schedule to the other math teacher which is unheard of because many students try to get out of math classes, to be frank, the math teachers aren't very good, so transfers are unheard of.
She then called Mrs. M to talk to her. Mrs. M did not answer so she left a strict voicemail.
Mrs. M called her back two seconds later trying to make excuses an arguing with the vice principal. The vice-principal calmly and firmly told her "That's not how we handle this... Come to my office in 15 minutes."
The vice-principal than apologized to me one more time and promised me she would handle the situation.
I left, shocked not only at the way my awful and irresponsible math teacher acted. But also by the amazing adults in my life who handled the situation perfectly; my mom, the vice-principal, my Spanish teacher. During the meeting, I cried, I was annoyed, I was hurt, and I was shocked.
The following Monday my schedule changed, and I also received a handwritten letter from Mrs. M explaining and apologizing. In the letter, she expressed that the only reason she brought up her babysitter was to make a connection with me.
For the first time, I felt bad for Mrs. M because I realized that she was completely immature. The card was written in sparkly writing, back and front on colorful cards, excusing her bad behavior.
When I think about this day. I am thankful for the way my mom handled it. I hope that Mrs. M never forgets what she did or the importance of a 504, and if anything I hope she learned from that experience.
I think she did. I really hope she did.
This is not the first teacher to question me but this was the worst time.
I have taught myself how to stand up for myself and how to be my own Invisible Illness advocate.
I have taught myself how to stand up for myself and how to be my own Invisible Illness advocate.
If a teacher ever questions me, I now always explain that; I don't like to be absent, I don't want to be absent, but sometimes I am. I also tell them about my 504 before they can question me. And sign every email "I have a 504."
I think all teachers should know that a student with a 504 plan has had to go through what most kids don't. And though I am so thankful for my 504 I wish I didn't have to have one.
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